Intertwined

Steve has been away for nearly 2 weeks now. There is very little that I enjoy about him being away, but there is one tiny pleasure that I look forward to. 

Night time snuggles with my boys. 

When he's away, we do random nights where the boys get to sleep all night in the "big bed." We co-slept with both boys, and it's nice to have them in our luxurious large bed to snuggle with again. 

Corben in particular is just lovely to cuddle up with. (Nothing against G, but he's all long and gangly limbs, plus he grinds the hell out of his teeth.) Corbie curls up into a ball and likes to snuggle up in the crook of my arm. His arms tangle with mine, and he finds my hand to hold. His legs get wrapped up in mine too. We are tangled up together, like we used to be in the days when he grew inside me, boy and his Mama. 

I know these days are fleeting. My boys won't always want to curl up with me in the night. So while they do, I'll hold them tight; the tops of their heads wil be the last thing I kiss goodnight in the evening, and the first thing I kiss good morning in the light of dawn. And I'll curl up with them, tangled up in sweet dreams of sunshine...at the same time, looking forward to having the man that brought these precious gifts to me back in his rightful spot! 

Reset

Today could have gone very poorly. In fact, it started out that way. I had barely been up for 10 minutes before it started heading south. But then, on my way home from dropping Griffin off at school (nearly half an hour late, after a very tumultuous morning) I made the decision to start over. To not let my shitty morning take control over my entire day.

Take two. Hit the reset button. Start the day fresh. 

And damned if we didn't have the best day ever! 

It's all within our control. Attitude is everything. (And the sunshine doesn't hurt either!)

Ramble ramble blah blah blah

One might take a quick look at my blog and think that I fell off the face of the planet for most of February. And March. And maybe April too.

Truth be told, winter was loooong, people. And goddamnit if I didn't just about pack up my bags and hitch a ride south to warmer places. But I didn't. And we perservered. And here we are.

All indications seem to point to spring actually arriving sometime in the near future.  Yesterday was sunny, dare I say HOT even (almost 20C!) and there was some porch sitting and some cocktail drinking, and some praying that this bit of delight would keep on.

Today it's a balmy 5 degrees again, with a wind that will knock your bunnies over. (If you had bunnies.) (Which, I do.)

I don't know what kind of dark pit I fell into this winter, but it's nice to be out of it. The garlic is starting to poke it's head out of the ground, finally!  On Saturday I moved the aforementioned bunnies out of their House of Poop back into the great outdoors. We celebrated Easter Weekend with yard work, and new bicycles, and waay too much chocolate. And today I've decided to do some much needed computer work. In my chair. All day.

Yes.

So much has gone on in the past few months that I don't even know where to start. Truth be told, I had to go though my Instagram feed to remember it all. Sad.

There was a ski trip to Elicotteville, a million and a half (ok, not quite, but close) baby bunnies, lots of snow, lots of snuggles, lots of hot chocolate. And lots and lots of soap.

The One of a Kind Show was the biggest baddest thing to happen in the past few months. A soapy whirlwind of a good/exhausting time, it was a dream come true!

And then there were smashed windows, trips to Stratford, more baby bunnies, and finally, little green things popping out of the ground. The children, along with the grass, are growing like weeds.

And I don't know where I'm going with all this.

I feel like I've lost my bloggy voice over the past few months, and I'm struggling to find it again. I want to pick up my camera again, and enjoy the little things that offer so much beauty in a single shot. And then write about them. But the inspiration just hasn't been there. If I had actually blogged the number of times I had THOUGHT about blogging, this space wouldn't have been the dead zone that it has been for so many weeks.

I feel like there are SO. MANY. THINGS. trying to fight for my attention.  The children, the husband, the dog, the rabbits, the groceries, the yardwork, the soap business, my friends, my family, my community.  Plus there's the relaxation that they tell us we're supposed to be doing. The laundry we should be washing, the dishes we should be doing, blah blah blah. And the blog we should be writing. Right.

Balance. It was supposed to be my word for 2014. My "thing" that I was supposed to be finding.

So far I feel like I'm sucking at the balance thing.

I feel like there are lots of other things that I'm rocking. The soapy side of life is certainly rocking. But the rest seems to be a bit unbalanced.

I think I'm rambled out. I think I've out-rambled my welcome, even though it's my damn blog.

Maybe just writing something, anything, will help me get back in the saddle again. Who knows.

For now, I sit, and dream about summer and fresh tomatoes and summer festivals and days at the pond. And no matter how unbalanced I feel, I can sit here in this spot knowing I'm at least unbalanced in the best spot in the world. And without even asking around, I know for certain that I'm not alone.

And that's worth a lot.

(If you made it this far you deserve a freaking medal!)

xoxox