Friday, September 28, 2012

Fairytale, fairytale.

Someone made a comment to me the other day, that wasn't meant to be nasty, but it kind of "got me", and took it to heart. I do that sometimes.  So of course, I had to write about it.


My life, your life, the lives of most people out there who are blogging and posting on the internet are FAR from fairytales.  There are poopy diapers, and spilled milk, and parenting moments that will kick us right off the mother-of-the-year list.  They are everywhere.  Anyone who says they don't have those moments is a liar-liar-pants-on-fire, full out. 

I used to pride myself on "keeping it real" - posting about the (literal and figurative) shit, AND the glowing fairytales, and everything in between.  I used to get up in arms about the people who led a seemingly "perfect" life, with their perfect blog, and their perfectly adorable children, running around in hand-knit sweaters and cloth diapers, eating keifer and kale, and homeschooling in the woods.  It seemed so idyllic.  (Especially while I was being projectile vomited on, and falling into PPD.)

However, now I know that those women, they were just smarter than me.  They were younger than me, or older, at the relative same place in their journey as me, or where I saw myself to be in 5 years. But they had already figured it out.

They figured out that being miserable gets you nowhere.

And that being happy can get you anywhere.

And the only person truly responsible for your own happiness is you.

And if you focus on the fairytale; the happy bits in your life, then the not so happy ones are less likely to take over your whole life.  Even if there is more crap than cupcakes, focusing on the cupcakes makes the day all that much brighter.

Maybe somedays it all seems like it's a fairytale over here.  Trust me when I tell you that it's not.  We all have our struggles. Asperger's is our version.  But...we struggle against the syndrome, NOT the kid.  The kid is not the syndrome, and the syndrome is NOT all that there is to the kid.  And the syndrome is NOT all that there is to our life.  Our life is so much more.  

So yes, I'm still keeping it real.  Real happy.  I'm letting the world (or the couple dozen friends that read here, and my Mom...hi Mom!) know that it there are gifts for you everywhere.  You just have to want them, and you have to look for them.  (Don't expect them to come to you on a silver platter.) (Although, sometimes, if you're lucky, karma might just hand you a freebie...that's how I ended up with my husband!)

And if you want your life to be a fairytale, then make it's ok if it is.  In fact it's awesome!  Focus on the good, forgive and forget about the bad.  And if you're happy with your life, sing it from the rooftops, people!  Maybe you'll make someone else smile in the process, and that alone makes it worth singing about. 

That's all for now.

(I had to come back and edit this just after posting, because I found this quote in an article, and it was a perfect fit.)

“We didn’t ask to be born – how could we? – and yet, ever since our birth day, life itself has been there for us. Sure, there are times when life can be sheer torture, and when we could do without some of its trials and tribulations: but life just keeps being poured out for us. Every day a fresh start, a new beginning, a new birth, even. Every day is a new day for us to use as we choose.”  Terry Biddington

 He's not an evil genius, he just plays one on the internet.

1 comment:

  1. I hear you...I so hear you! (and I love the "...he just plays one on the internet" caption!) Our trials with ADHD and now medicating it put us constantly out of our comfort zone and into the firing line of public opinion. We love our kid just how he is and it just gets better and better BECAUSE of who and how he is. Being on the other side of some of the really heavy slogging with behaviour etc is a relief. You will get there too.